Resume Bloopers to Avoid
Final results were published yesterday. I did well. I scored a Credit in Econometrics. Yahoo! It was actually the most challenging subject of my degree. And I am quite proud of my grade.
For those of you who wonder, econometrics can be seen as the mathematical modeling of economic relationships. For example, we all know that there is an positive relationship between household income and household expenditure. But this economic theory does not specify the magnitude or significance of this relationship. In fact, an econometric model allows us to measure the impact that a change in income has on household expenditure.
But that's not the point of this post.
I intensified my efforts to find a job after I got the results. And I thought a complete revamp of my resume was in order. There is always room for improvement. So I surfed about for resume-writing tip. And I found some very useful advise. Monster.com, for example, warned against 10 classic resume bloopers ("classic" here is an overstatement but "bloopers" certainly captures dumb nature of the mistakes ). Here are a few not-so-classic real-life resume blunders:
"Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations." Either this person is showcasing compulsively stubborn management qualities, or he has a challenging product packaging/storage problem.
"Experienced supervisor, defective with both rookies and seasoned professionals." Many of us have had a boss like this at some point in our careers, but you usually don't find them being so up-front about their leadership inadequacies.
"Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts." Sales managers aren't likely to be impressed with this self-proclaimed underachiever.
"Dramatically increased exiting account base, achieving new company record." If customer accounts were leaving in droves as this statement implies, it's probably fair to assume that this candidate also tanked as a top sales producer.
Monster.com is a web-based job search engine. They surely process thousands of applications a day. So when they call these bloppers the Classic Ten, I am worried for the other 9,990x applications. One thing is sure: these guys must have a blast at work, reading stuff like this.
"Internship at a growing, reputable company bent on world domination, or similarly grand aspirations. Preferably in a business-oriented role, while working near the latest and greatest technology.
A friendly environment, with crazy ideas and having fun being the norm. Ideally
located somewhere with warm, gentle ocean-front weather. "
This will certainly get the attention of the manager. But I don't think the guy will get the interview.
Ok, I am going to work now. Be back tonight. Until then, take care.
